In which everyone thinks "oh, she is a lesbian."

But where I am actually just terrible at relationships.

I have an event to attend this weekend where I will be representing my firm and which is the type of event where people often bring a date. (The firm even offered to pay for said date's dinner.) Now because I am the type of person who would rather drink wine in her sweats and watch Scandal with her mother than go on a date, I do not have anyone to bring to this event.
While I don't overstate my own ineptitude at romance, there is also the problem of finding an appropriate date to bring to this type of function. My firm has asked me to be its representative on the board of directors for our chamber of commerce, and their annual gala [lets be real its dry chicken and a local band] is this weekend. Now I live on the coast in California and the town I live in is full of some of the last living hippies, probably easy enough to come out in and relatively relaxed standard for dress and decorum. The town I work in - a stone's throw a way- is still pretty old school. There is a huge agriculture industry and a lot of old timers (the fact that I was born in the hospital in town means something to some of our clients, even the corporate clients.) My firm is definitely part of that old guard, we still have octogenarian partners who come in every day (lets just say pantyhose are not optional.) It is the type of place where it might still be uncomfortable to come out of the closet. As a straight woman I am lucky not to have to deal with that hurdle, unfortunately it means finding a male date.
Honestly I have enough amazing female friends it would be much easier to find a woman to bring to this event. There appears to have been an outbreak of Peter Pan syndrome throughout my home town. As much as I would enjoy explaining why a suit is the appropriate dress code to the surfer who "doesn't own paints, except for snowboarding... does that count?" Or to watch as an artist who "doesn't like to have a schedule dictated to him" explain his aversion to my Korean War veteran boss; I decided to go alone. It makes for better networking, and there are many fewer opportunities for embarrassment.

It did mean that I had to have these conversations:

From the octogenarian: "So are we going to meet your young man?"
Me: "Nope, it is just me."
Him: "Oh, well, better luck next year"

From the Managing Partner: "The firm will pay for you to bring a date"
Me: "Thanks, but I would rather go on my own, better networking"
Him: "Okay, whatever you want"

From our accounting department: "Just $75.00 on the check? You know that just covers you, right?"
Me: "Yep, just me."
Her: "No date?"
Me: "No date."
Her: "Hmm, OK, $75.00 then"

From the president of the chamber: "I see you just RSVP'd for one, did you mean to include a guest?"
Me: "I know, it is just me."
Her: "People generally bring guests"
Me: "Do I need to bring a guest?"
"No, no, just it is an option you know."
"Okay, well just me then."

Honestly, tomorrow is going to be interesting.

The New Year (or Third)

I am not a devotee of New Year’s resolutions, and maybe it is a false hope to think that I will get back in the habit of writing, but a new year does seem like a good time to turn a leaf and write again. Of course the stated purpose of my writing was to keep in touch with my family from a distance, which is less essential now that I am back home. 

I am sorry that I have been so inattentive. Sometimes the practice of blogging feels a bit “navel gaze-y,” and I wonder if I am falling into the stereotype of a self-important millennial assuming anyone wants to read my thoughts. (Case and point: apologizing for not writing as if anyone was waiting with bated breath for me to post again; other than my parents. Insert gold star parent joke here.)

 I hope I have something interesting to say. Being back in my home town, with all of its quirks; practicing law at a firm that feels like a big fish because of our tiny pond; faking adulthood as a twenty something. Thanks for coming back. Let me know if I am being an idiot.