Spring time trips and birthday disappointment.

In continuing my attempt to take you through the months of life that were un-blogged, I am writing once more about last spring. (And hey, this is the third post this month so I would say I am making some, middling, progress.)
My parents sent my little sister to visit me, for her spring break, which just happened to be around my birthday and, more importantly at cherry blossom time. It was a pretty awsome trip, although not without its trials-we are sibblings after all and even as we get older we know how to push each other's buttons, although traveling together has gotten much easier as time has gone on. (The first road trip I rember taking with her, led to me threatening at some point to throw her out the window. I was serious, my parents were displeased.)

It was nice to show her around DC and take her to some of my favorite places, with the added advantage of Meghan still being on my parents dole, so she was a less expensive visitor than many of my friends. Plus there really isn't a better time to be in the district than the end of March. (This is a stark contrast to the beginning of July which I would argue is the worst time to be in the district.)  
Another plesant birthday surprise- my parent's got me a Kindle Fire! I was very excited, I always ask for a surprise gift from my parents. I know in many ways this is mean, basically I am testing how well they know me, giving them no hints, but it makes the gift so much better because I have no idea what is coming and it is something I probably wouldn't have gotten for myself. Which really illistrates the problem of gift giving as you get older, anything that I would ask for there is a good chance I will just buy it for myself and giving money just goes to needs like groceries and rent. (Not that I mind thos things- a girls gotta eat but it is so much fun to be really surpriesed and touched by a gift.)
Unfortunately my little sister had to leave early on the morning of my birthday, which left a bit to be desired as birthdays go. Thursdays were my long day last semester (nearly straight through from 10 in the morning till 8 at night) and most of my friends (including my roommate) forgot I realize that this is partly my fault, my facebook doesn't have my birthday on it, and I tend to not make a big deal about it, but still it was a little depressing. Thankfully I had saved a stack of cards from people at home to open and enjoy, because a spring break trip and law school isn't quite as insane as a wedding. (Plus my roommate eventually remembered and insisted on margaritas and chocolate cake- something that tastes good even the day after your birthday.)

She is definitely not Jake, but my roommate makes a mean birthday cake.

Spring Break...so much better than last year!

Spring Break as it should be...mimosas in a mason jar!

At my law school your spring break 1L year is set up to drain the life out of you. Mine did, in part because I was so miserable about the things I would supposed to get done and which made break miserable that I didn't actually get them done. So not only was I stressed out I was unproductive. At very least I got to visit my family which was a bonus.

Central Market- Charelston

This year that was not the case, sure there was work that I would have ideally gotten done, but it didn't need to happen (and therefore did not get done.) I decided to rationalize that spending time relaxing was probably good for my mind. A group of my friends and I rented a beach house in South Carolina. We were a little before college spring break, which made the island we were staying on a bit more laid back than it might be otherwise.

I love getting to spend time near the ocean and I haven't been able to spend as much time in the south I would like, so when one of my girlfriends- who, because of our mutually busy schedules, I never get to spend enough time with- invited me to come along I jumped at the chance, even though it meant missing my dad while he was here for briefly for work. I was really looking forward to a break from school, and DC and the pace of real life. Of course, as is the case with much of life it wasn't as stars and ferries as I had hoped.

First of all, it was early March, so we knew going in that the weather might be iffy, and we didn't get too many great beach days. (You will not the lack of beach photos-I didn't take many.) Also as the population of our vacationers changed and it quickly became evident that I was going on a "boy's trip." Now not entirely boys,  it was two couples three boys and me; but I realized that this was the first time I had been on a "boys boys," (probably because I am not cut out for them.) In college I could always find better modes of transportation to football games than the frat buses, and I have always had more girlfriends than guy friends. So all my trips have been family vacations, trips with my girlfriends and vacations on my own, and I have no problem saying that they are what I prefer. My experiance with this group of fine young gentalmen was that they thought I was their mother, something that I am sure would have displeased their actual mothers.

You notice that I call my travel companions "boys," this is because they behaved as such, not because I think of all males my age as boys, but rather because the behaved as boys. We had an amazing house right on the ocean, I would wake up in the morning to go for a run on the beach and when I got back all the blinds facing the ocean would be closed so that the guys could play video games. Which is fine, it is their vacation my problem is that we were not allowed to open our blinds the whole time we were there, because of the glare. As soon as I would get in the house one of them would ask "hey, when is breakfast going to be ready?" I wanted to answer I don't know asshole maybe when you get off your ass and make it? But I had decided to be "fun" and "kind" which in my twisted brain translated to cooking and cleaning and becoming their mother; which of course then resulted in anger and passive aggression- making me not fun at all. All and all I was left utterly without hope for the men of my generation.

That's not to say the trip didn't have highlights, I read all of the hunger games trilogy in under something like 36 hours. They were addicting, and twisted and while they left much to be desired it was nice to read a heroine that actually stood up for herself. The other highlight was spending the day in Charleston with my friend and her boyfriend. While I did feel like a third wheel the day kept me from killing any of the guys back at the house who were still playing video games. (I get that they relax people but the boys never: went to the beach, to Charleston, to Savannah or really into town- I don't understand why they needed to drive 500 miles and pay to rent a beachfront property if you are only going to do exactly what you do at home.)

 

I really enjoyed Charleston and Folly beach even if it was a week of week of cooking and cleaning for spoiled man children (who couldn't operate a diswaher and spilled beer exrywhere for me to clean up), it was still better than last year. I would love to go back and spend some time there for a bachelorette, or girls vacation; but after this spring break  I think there will need to be a "NO BOYS ALLOWED" sign on the front door.   

It's not you, it's me...

If it makes you feel better it isn't just the blog I have been neglecting, I got my hair cut for the first time today since December! (That is almost 8 months-think of the split ends.)

Seriously though, I know I have been terrible about posing lately; I haven't written about spring break, or my South East Asia trip, or my summer job...the list goes on and on. I have a few posts that I have been working on, so here's hoping I get it together an they go up soon.

If I visit you in Arizona in August and Alaska in January you know I will always be your friend.

Somehow this has been luxuriating in my "to be written" folder for the better part of a semester. I will blame it on the very trip I am going to detail, claiming (mostly falsely) that by taking a trip to Alaska at the beginning of the semester I got so behind that I was unable to write. In truth, starting my semester with an awesome Alaskan wedding did set a precedent for what has been a very fun semester. (And evidently when I am having fun I don't write about it.)
Last year, at about this time-as the cold weather and grey skies were starting to get to me, I started planning a trip to see one of my best friends from college who is getting her master's degree in Arizona. (I will call her Sadie, because as the first of my college friends to get married she has become "Sadie, Sadie married lady.") At this point she was single, not even a ring on her finger, but she was talking about this boy an awful lot. Then I found out the boy was moving to Arizona to get his masters (and I started to get worried that I would be a third wheel) and then I found out that they were going to live together (and I worried that I had lost my place to stay) and then he proposed and I was afraid that I wouldn't get to go on my vacation.
As you can see this was really about me...
In all honesty I was a little nervous, I understand the way adding a partner can change things and I wanted to be able to reminisce and enjoy with out unwanted male interference. I shouldn't have worried, he was kind enough not to move down until a week after my vacation. It was a wonderful little vacation, what the English would term a "mini-break." It was lovely to be able to lay in the sun, drink girly drinks, gossip and brainstorm about Sadie's wedding. (There was a small incident where I stepped on a rattle snake but it didn't bite me so I am still alive.) Somehow I survived without a burn or a bite, rhapsodizing about the glories of Tuscan in August.
Then in October I got an invitation in the mail, and convinced my parents to send me to Alaska (where both Sadie and her now husband are from) for Christmas. I had an amazing time:
First: It is great to see friends again.
I had seen Sadie this summer but other friends I had known from Berkeley went up and converged on Alaska. We all stayed in Sadie's parents house for what felt like a week of slumber parties, except with wedding cake and champagne sampling, not to mention decoration and program prepping duties. (I don't know how her father survived as the only man in a house of between six and eight females (and I was sleeping in the den so he was without what my father would term a "man-cave.")  He was an amazing sport though, even playing card games with us and diligently practicing for his speech and dance with the bride.
Second: I kinda liked the weather.

Yes it was cold (I don't think it ever got above -10 (yes that is a negative) but you prepare for it, and the city of Anchorage knows how to handle snow. Plus when you are going out you prepare for it mentally and physically, no one expects anything other than tights and boots and snow in your hair.  Plus (as you can see) it makes for some awesome photos.
Finally I love a wedding.
For all my doubts and questions about getting and being married (at least for myself) I love a wedding. They are probably my favorite way to spend a Saturday. There is booze and dressing up and food and cake and the best kind of dancing, where you do actual steps and the music switches through the last three decades and somehow you spend six hours in five inch heels and don't even notice. Although my enthusiasm may have been because of the ratio of single men to single women, because my female friends gravitate toward serious long term relationships and the bride and groom's male friends don't I was one of the few single women left to dance with the men- it is a hard job but someone has to do it. (Plus a wedding is even better if the bride asks me to let my type A-ness eek out, so I can yell at the DJ for not getting people on the floor, and grumble to guests who dare disturb her flowers.)
Plus I get to wish a very dear friend all the best in the world as she starts her life with a wonderful man.

So yes I will go to Tuscan in August and Alaska in January... Just don't ask me to catch the damn bouquet! 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Okay, so I know I am late, but not that late if you take into account Chinese New Year, which was only a week ago.

I celebrated each of the New Years as in true Bay Area fashion, while I stuck close to my roots on both occasions the evenings couldn't have been more different.
I was lucky to spend the Georgian New Year with friends in the Marina. While we did spend a little time out dancing and we watched the city's fireworks from the bay most of the evening was spent in preparation for going out. I don't know how we do this, but some how the production of hair, clothes and makeup takes longer than you spend actually dancing; and what is it for your in a dark room with strange lighting, it is probably 100 degrees with the humidity of the tropics. No one looks good five minutes after you walk in the door. In college it made a little more sense, before going out there was usually a parade of photos that were taken, not to mention a less sauna like location for the ubiquitous "pre-gaming." For some reason I still do it, which isn't even the crazy part.
The crazy part is that I like it. Far and away the most fun I had was getting ready and drinking Martini's with the girlfriend I was with. We have been friends since junior high, and while we were always close she was never my dearest friend. But in a strange "isn't it funny how things change" way we are living surrprisingly relatable lives. While she is married (something that still freaks me out to think about- it doesn't feel real to me. Contrary to every father everywhere in my head she and her husband are simply living in sin, this makes much more sense to me.) But other than the fact that she has a husband (and I SO don't) our lives are on similar tracts. She is a PhD student on the east coast, and while her program is only mildly related to law we share a common language. I is a wonderful treat to be able to talk to someone who knows your past but can also get where you are in the moment. It is a rare thing. My family is terribly supportive; thinking I am brilliant and capable. This is great, but when something that is exciting happens they don't understand the significance of it. It feels like "of course you did it because you are amazing!" So it was wonderful to talk to someone who got it. We could both talk about our accomplishments without feeling like we were gloating or competing (which is what it feels like with law school friends) and we still understood the magnitude of what we had been able to accomplish.

Plus it is really great to gossip about High School with a drink in your hand and a Diploma on the wall. 

I had much less fun on Chinese New Year...

My first year of college one of my roommates was Chinese and she still sends me updates every year at the lunar new year telling me how to best prepare myself for the year ahead (you can basically insert a slew of Berkeley stereotypes into the quad I lived in as a freshman- I know, I am sure I have mentioned others, but Berkeley has a stereotype for a reason.) This is the year of the Dragon, and I (along with much of the rest of of my graduating class) was born under the sign of the Dragon. While we are supposed to be the luckiest sign this isn't going to be a great year for us, my friend (through her grandmother) tells me that I need to be behave conservatively (spending another 40 grand on law school, voting for Obama, traveling to South East Asia- I think I have already failed that one.) Guard my head (she wasn't to clear on this one, but suggested with my tendency to fall down I might want to start wearing a helmet all the time.)

Okay so those aren't looking so good, so she advised what she advises every year (and I sometimes follow) to clean. You are supposed to clean you house and remove all of the bad luck from the previous year so that the good luck can flow in. I am not sure if it works, but it is nice to have an excuse to have a sparkly clean house. We actually moved the oven to get the grime out from under and around it. Also, because the entryway is the most important area because that is where luck enters, I was able to get my roommate to move some of her shoes to her bedroom- a major victory. 

So here is to a new year, hopefully eating beans and scrubbing floors will pay off and it will be a good one, (because I would be really pissed if the Mayans were right and the world ends a semester before I finish law school. )

In Between

I love Holidays (in theory and in part) and I love my family, and with exams being over you would think that going home for winter break would be a blissful three weeks. Unfortunately, going home for the holidays isn't easy, so much of it seems to emphasize the things that are difficult about being in my early to mid twenties. It places into sharp focus the fact that I am in limbo. I am some place between the family I grew up with and the family I will create, I am not a child my parents have to raise but I am not one of the grown-ups either. Most of the time it is easy to ignore, I am busy enough living two parallel lives that the places they blur together aren't so noticeable, but when I am home living as a daughter, all of the ways I have changed come into sharp (sometimes comedic ) relief.
This year was better than most, usually my dad and I get along wonderfully for about three days and then we spend the rest of my time at home at each other's throats. Most of this comes from my unwillingness to take (what the Irish and the polite person in me would call) blarney. After many occasions of, mostly good natured, teasing I would remind him that if he wanted a pushover he should have raised one. It used to be that my mom and little sister let him off the hook, so my coming home was the estrogen bomb that sent him running to his man cave. This year my little sister came home first, and she took her turn taking on my father. Which meant I either got to be "the good one" or I had a partner in crime. What I call a win win.

Me and my Mom, making fun of my Dad at Fort Point
Under the Golden Gate Bridge 

While I had hoped my little sister's active social life and snark while at home would suck up my Dad's attention it seemed to shine it back on me, as if we both needed to be held to an eighteen year-old's level of scrutiny. Although it has been many years since I have allowed him to control my social life, while I am at home I do understand that my parents have a right to know where I am going. This also frequently means I get my dad's commentary about things like skirt length (you're sure you don't want to cover your legs?) tight warmth (with all those holes your legs must get cold, why don't you put on pants?) driving routes (don't take the freeway it will be crazy the frontage road is better.) Not to mention a general proclivity for asking questions he doesn't wan't to know the answer to- trust me dad what you are looking for is not in the pink bag, you DON'T want to go in there. Although much of this impasse was defeated when he realized that I could embarrass him more (with the contents of said pink bag)  than he could embarrass me (because anything that embarrassing I wouldn't bring home).
It was a tougher year for my Mom and I, we are very close and other that a few disagreements, generally about my clothing budget and reluctance to disclose my love life (mostly because it doesn't exist) we get along really well. This year there was an undercurrent of tension between us, I think because we both realize that Holidays at home may be coming to an end and will certainly get shorter. I can't be sure, but the whole year had a sense of change to it. So while I am still in between I don't know if it will be for long or what it will mean on the other side.
It was still a magical Christmas, with weather most people could only dream of. So thank you, Babette for taking the heat off me, Mom for caring enough to worry about change, Dad for my thick skin and unwillingness to take crap, and my whole family for a wonderful holiday season!

When did I become this person?

Confession...

I started this posting some time during the winter exam period last year and it has languished in my draft folder for that time with many paragraphs added and deleted. But it originally started with an exclamation over the fact that I found myself writing sentences like: "Whereby an operation of law you have merged liability..." and how quickly law school shaped my brain and enabled me to "think like a lawyer."

Now it isn't so much about academic changes but a mi a culpa in the form of astonishment that I somehow left behind my posting schedule and haven’t updated in months. This change is not about the way my brain works but instead astonishment at the way this life has swallowed me whole.

It certainly wasn’t a bad semester, being busy allowed me to focus my time better and cut away the things that I don’t get value from, but I never intended to fall of the face of the virtual world. It wasn’t that I didn’t write, there are a number of similarly half-finished postings waiting to be finished.

So here is to 2012, hopefully I will get back on the ball. Big things are coming I will keep you posted.