In Between

I love Holidays (in theory and in part) and I love my family, and with exams being over you would think that going home for winter break would be a blissful three weeks. Unfortunately, going home for the holidays isn't easy, so much of it seems to emphasize the things that are difficult about being in my early to mid twenties. It places into sharp focus the fact that I am in limbo. I am some place between the family I grew up with and the family I will create, I am not a child my parents have to raise but I am not one of the grown-ups either. Most of the time it is easy to ignore, I am busy enough living two parallel lives that the places they blur together aren't so noticeable, but when I am home living as a daughter, all of the ways I have changed come into sharp (sometimes comedic ) relief.
This year was better than most, usually my dad and I get along wonderfully for about three days and then we spend the rest of my time at home at each other's throats. Most of this comes from my unwillingness to take (what the Irish and the polite person in me would call) blarney. After many occasions of, mostly good natured, teasing I would remind him that if he wanted a pushover he should have raised one. It used to be that my mom and little sister let him off the hook, so my coming home was the estrogen bomb that sent him running to his man cave. This year my little sister came home first, and she took her turn taking on my father. Which meant I either got to be "the good one" or I had a partner in crime. What I call a win win.

Me and my Mom, making fun of my Dad at Fort Point
Under the Golden Gate Bridge 

While I had hoped my little sister's active social life and snark while at home would suck up my Dad's attention it seemed to shine it back on me, as if we both needed to be held to an eighteen year-old's level of scrutiny. Although it has been many years since I have allowed him to control my social life, while I am at home I do understand that my parents have a right to know where I am going. This also frequently means I get my dad's commentary about things like skirt length (you're sure you don't want to cover your legs?) tight warmth (with all those holes your legs must get cold, why don't you put on pants?) driving routes (don't take the freeway it will be crazy the frontage road is better.) Not to mention a general proclivity for asking questions he doesn't wan't to know the answer to- trust me dad what you are looking for is not in the pink bag, you DON'T want to go in there. Although much of this impasse was defeated when he realized that I could embarrass him more (with the contents of said pink bag)  than he could embarrass me (because anything that embarrassing I wouldn't bring home).
It was a tougher year for my Mom and I, we are very close and other that a few disagreements, generally about my clothing budget and reluctance to disclose my love life (mostly because it doesn't exist) we get along really well. This year there was an undercurrent of tension between us, I think because we both realize that Holidays at home may be coming to an end and will certainly get shorter. I can't be sure, but the whole year had a sense of change to it. So while I am still in between I don't know if it will be for long or what it will mean on the other side.
It was still a magical Christmas, with weather most people could only dream of. So thank you, Babette for taking the heat off me, Mom for caring enough to worry about change, Dad for my thick skin and unwillingness to take crap, and my whole family for a wonderful holiday season!